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What if a Buyer and Seller Talk to Each Other?

by Chuck Marunde / Saturday, 20 February 2016 / Published in Buyers, Hiring Agents

What if a buyer and seller talk directly without their Realtors involved as intermediaries? This can happen, sometimes unintentionally, and sometimes before closing a buyer and a seller have an occasion to meet each other and talk. What are the pros and cons of a buyer and seller talking to each other?

Buyer and Seller

Buyer and Seller Talking! OMG!

Most Realtors get paranoid at the very thought of a buyer and seller talking to each other. Realtors want to “control” their clients, because they fear their clients will say something wrong. There are many stories about the seller who says to the buyer, “Since we got rid of the termites, we haven’t had any issues.”

Buyer and Seller and Ethics

There is an ethics issue for Realtors. A Realtor cannot communicate with the other Realtor’s client directly or indirectly. That’s why a seller should communicate through his listing agent, and the buyer should communicate through his buyer’s agent. But the clients themselves are not subject to the Realtor’s Code of Ethics, so if they talked to each other, they would not be in violation.

As a general rule it certainly is not a good idea for a buyer and seller to talk directly with each other during negotiations. But I have had buyers who did talk to a seller to get instructions on how to operate an irrigation system.  And frankly, if buyers and sellers have to go through their Realtors just to say, “Hello,” or something else that does not effect the transaction, especially when the buyer and seller get along very well, a Realtor would be hard pressed to stifle the clients when it would just be rude and offensive.

I believe there’s a bigger danger. If a Realtor does not communicate well with their own client, and they are making poor decisions on behalf of their client without telling their own client what is really going on, the Realtor can be the cause of a transaction dying.

Good communications between the buyer and seller are important, and that also means that both Realtors need to be good communicators, too.

Possibly Related Posts:

  • Should I Buy a Home in Sequim Before the Election?
  • 24 Secrets to Buying a Country Home
  • The Buyer Timeline
  • Should I Submit a Backup Offer on a Pending Transaction?
  • Home Ownership in Sequim

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About Chuck Marunde

After practicing real estate law for 20 years in Washington, Chuck opened iRealty Virtual Brokers covering the Sequim and the beautiful Olympic Peninsula. Chuck is the author of numerous magazine and Internet articles with a primary focus on real estate. He is also the author of over a dozen books, mostly about Sequim real estate. Chuck is a photographer, videographer, and Registered FAA Drone Pilot. Chuck has combined his love for real estate and technology to create a growing Internet presence in his market, and enjoys building his websites and blogs, including SequimBlog.com and Sequim4Sale.com and LuxuryWaterViewHomes.com. Chuck has degrees in Economics, Law, and Education.

6 Comments to “ What if a Buyer and Seller Talk to Each Other?”

  1. Craig says :Reply
    July 17, 2019 at 5:35 am

    Agreed. Our realtor is doing a very poor job in communicating our needs and wishes to the sellers. It’s a rather complex deal and we’ll write a letter to the sellers only to have the realtor change the letter on our behalf (because he thinks it’s better his way, even though his grammar and spelling are much worse than ours).

    We’ve had several direct meetings with the sellers with both realtors present as we try to hash out our details. In several instances, our realtor (who is new) has misinformed the group about real estate details and had to be corrected by the other realtor. Even in the complex real estate environment of the North East, we still feel this is unacceptable. But as we are on contract we have no choice. It’s frustrating.

  2. Samantha R. says :Reply
    July 17, 2019 at 9:32 pm

    What should I do if the seller’s agent is not communicating with my (buyer) agent? We have submitted the sellers agent 3 offers and have called multiple times, but no call backs or emails. Is this allowed. We have given a time limit on my offers.

    Answer: That’s not supposed to be happening, at least if the Realtors are professional and courteous. Unfortunately, I have heard way too many stories like this over the past 40 years in real estate. There are both legal and ethical obligations on the part of the listing agent representing the seller, but the remedies are not readily available. In other words, you can lodge complaints verbally or in writing to the right broker, association, or state agencies, but honestly, none of that seems to provide practical remedies for consumers, and none of that seems to stop bad behavior. I gave up years ago calling another Realtor’s managing broker to discuss unprofessional conduct, because none of the broker/managers I called ever gave a darn about the unethical conduct, and would not do anything to stop it or create a better environment for their own agents. Sad but true. I guess the bottom line is more consumers (buyers and sellers) need to do a very thorough job hiring the right Realtor, because the nightmare if you don’t could be big.

  3. Theresa G. says :Reply
    January 23, 2020 at 5:44 pm

    My house is currently in escrow, as of Jan 4th. (19 days)
    I’ve asked MY realtor if she could talk to the buyer about mutually canceling the contract. But, she hasn’t & keeps asking me “are you sure that’s what you want to do”?
    I have many reasons for wanting to back out of the contract and continue to live in my home. But the number 1 reason is my mother (78) is over the last few weeks her mental illness has become worse. So, this is not the appropriate time for her to move.
    When I first listed the home, I explained to the realtor that her health is not the greatest and am looking for an investor to allow me to lease the home for at least a year.
    Note: There was not a clause or contingency written in the contract.
    Anyway, when an offer came through, at full purchase price. My realtor assured me she would help us relocate to a comparable home. Then, realtor ceased conversation with me and only sends me emails with documents to sign.
    I accepted the offer and have gone through inspection and appraisal.
    So i understand it’s too late for me to cancel (breach of contract). But, I was hoping for a miracle.
    Possibly, If the buyer was aware of the circumstances WE can come to a mutual agreement and cancel the sale.
    Of course, i would pay him back for all his costs, ect….
    What should I do?
    Can I contact the buyer… To have a simple conversation? (without Brokers & realtors).
    Then, after speaking, if he still wants to go through with the purchase of my house then, I’ll have no other choice but to go forward with the sale.

    Your thoughts…

  4. Chandre says :Reply
    January 31, 2020 at 8:53 am

    Hi would it be possible if i (Buyer) talk to the (Sellers) regarding a subsidy that is prolonging the process. Just to explain to them why the process is taking longer than usual instead of talking to the Agent because it seems as if the Agent doesnt understand, maybe the sellers will understand more..Would it be possible?

  5. Jesse says :Reply
    January 1, 2021 at 6:39 pm

    If I have already spoken via email and phone to a sales agent for a new construction builder, can I still use a realtor during the purchasing process?

    All of the interactions with the seller have been informational and nothing has been agreed upon or signed. I would like to use a realtor throughout the process.

  6. Chuck Marunde says :Reply
    January 6, 2021 at 7:58 pm

    Jesse, the answer is yes. All builders I work with agree to pay me a commission when I represent a buyer as their buyer’s agent. It’s never been a problem.

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Chuck E. Marunde, J.D.

Sequim Buyer's Agent
(Atty Ret.)
Founder and Broker of
Sequim & Port Angeles Real Estate dba iRealty Virtual Brokers
125 Olympic Ranch Ln,
Sequim, WA 98382
(360) 775-5424
ChuckMarunde@gmail.com

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From Los Angeles

It's rare, but once in awhile life provides the perfect collaborator for an important endeavor such as buying your new home. For me that person was Chuck Marunde. His two decade background as a Real Estate Attorney, his prolific career as an author of articles and books on Real Estate and his forthright and moral character made choosing Chuck a no-brainer. Chuck is dedicated, thorough, incredible at the negotiating table, knowledgeable about all local laws & regs but, most importantly, Chuck loves what he does. And what he does is find his client the perfect property. Chuck isn't about making the sale, he's about making the sale that is OPTIMUM for his CLIENT and this makes Chuck a rare bird indeed. I love my new home in Sequim and I am indebted to Chuck for making it happen. Kevin E.

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I’ve had the pleasure of working with Chuck over the past three years in selling my parent's estate. It was a tough time to sell during the housing recession, but Chuck always kept things on the positive side. With his real estate law background, he offers sound, practical advice. He helps you along with the process using discussions and reason, rather than opinions and speculations. If Chuck doesn’t know the answers, he will get them for you. In several instances, Chuck took the initiative to meet with county officials to get up-to-date facts about zoning and regulations. I was always impressed with his company’s tech savvy communi-cations and internet presence: weekly email updates, blogs, videos, links, Linked-in networking, etc. He is truly pioneering the future of buying & selling real estate. Brian M.

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"Andy Romano is a successful motion picture character actor with over 40 years in 'the Biz.' Mr. Romano has a home in beautiful Santa Barbara, California, but he chooses to live most of the time in Sequim, Washington on the Olympic Peninsula in the great Pacific Northwest. Why? In his own words, 'Because it's even more beautiful and surrounded by more beauty in this incredibly peaceful and quiet place. With respect to real estate agents or brokers, well my friend Chuck Marunde, owner of Sequim and Port Angeles Real Estate, is hands down the best there" Andy R.

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From Florida

We do our homework for the task at hand and we look for and expect to enlist partners that do the same. It was our good fortune to select Chuck Marunde of Sequim and Port Angeles Real Estate to represent us as a buyer's broker in our search for a home in the Sequim/Port Angeles area. Chuck's site is all encompassing and super fast compared to many others, he knows the market at every conceivable level and his guidance through the process of selecting and purchasing a home is priceless - above and beyond that of anyone with whom we have ever worked. Add to all this his 20 year background in real estate law and you have discovered a superb asset in the adventure of purchasing a home. Greg and Marilyn

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