“Do not mistake my kindness for weakness.” A young man was dating an assertive woman, and he wanted her to know that she should never mistake his gentleness and kindness for weakness. The young man was a professional fighter, but he was also a humble and kind personality. That kind of personality can be misunderstood, and what appears to be weakness may actually be greater confidence and strength than meets the eye at first. That fighter is the young man in this photo. I share this lesson here, because in real estate negotiating, it would be easy to mistake my gentle and happy personality for weakness.
Kindness for Weakness
By the way, the young man in this photo is my son, and this is one of my best photos of him in the ring. He really is a kind person outside the ring, but in the ring or in the cage, he is one of the most dangerous men in the world.
My friendly personality is no indication of my assertiveness. As an attorney in the U.S. Air Force in the Judge Advocate General’s Office, I had 40 hard fought trials. After leaving the Air Force, I returned to private practice as a real estate attorney, and as an attorney for 20 years I fought with some of the toughest Seattle attorneys, and not once did I compromise a client’s position. Ten years ago I retired from law practice to come full circle back to real estate brokerage.
Kindness and Negotiating
I am confident, competent, and experienced. I share all of this to put something in perspective for my clients. If you don’t know my background, you might meet me and think I’m too kind to be a strong negotiator. Please do not mistake my kindness for weakness. I am a tough negotiator, and I know how to represent my clients well. If you think that the best negotiator is someone who acts like a mean person or a jerk, think again. That kind of behavior has nothing to do with effective negotiating or competent professionalism. Too often the person who acts tough is the person with low self-esteem.
So don’t be surprised by my happy personality and my positive outlook. I love what I do, and I love working with my clients. I just wanted to emphasize that kindness and strength are not mutually exclusive. My clients can testify to that. So can all the fighters my son defeated in the ring.
Last Updated on September 8, 2019 by Chuck Marunde
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